A look at McGuire's Montreal Monsters

"Sid, have you ever considered jumping over to the Habs as a favour to me?"

Anyone checking the news knows that Montreal has been fielding candidates for the new General Manager spot for the last few days. The list of candidates has looked pretty strong to be honest, with Julien Brisebois, Marc Bergevin, Francois Giguere, Doug Risebrough...wait that can't be right. Pierre McGuire? Seriously? Well, what I get from lots of people is he knows about all the key players in all the junior squads and college teams in North America, and he won't hesitate to remind us of this every time he appears on NBC in some fashion. Seriously, if you ever meet him, ask him for details on someone like Rocco Grimaldi, and he won't stop at the basic stats. No sir, he even knows where the kid played in atom league, his grade seven homeroom teacher, and the fact that his parents got him a Nintendo with Bible Adventures when he was three. It's uncanny! It's borderline autistic!

Should Pierre be hired on to run the team (into the ground if you're particularly pessimistic/not crazy), it should be easy to predict some of his significant moves from his time on TV. His fetish for large defensemen, and generally large players has been on display many times. If I wanted to be an ass about it (which I am), I'd describe his ideal team as "size first, skill optional, and will you marry me Sidney Crosby". While I could definitely be surprised by a few moves of his, we should be looking forward to a few certain people wearing the CH.

Geoff Molson's Strategy for Winning Alain Vigenault

The Montreal front office has a lot of work ahead of them this season, looking for a new head coach and general manager. A daunting task in itself, it's made twice as difficult with the francophone culture requiring the ability to speak French. While there's a long list of candidates to comb through for the GM position, the Habs might have a prime coaching candidate fall right in their laps with Alain Vigneault. Yeah, I know. Mike Gillis didn't say that he was being let go, but he also said that he was building the Canucks around skill and speed, then traded Cody Hodgson for Zack "A Big Guy" Kassian.

So let's say AV is given his walking papers, and he's looking for a new team. The last time he worked for Montreal, they missed the playoffs twice in a row before he got canned. To be fair though, I don't even think Ken Hitchcock could save a team like this.

I don't think Vigneault is looking back on his time in the Bell Centre with nostalgia, and with the Canadiens coming off their worst season since he coached them, Geoff Molson and company will have to put together a solid strategy to win him over. Luckily for you, I've been leaked a few bar napkins that Mr. Molson used hammer out his pitch.

Here's a few talking points that I could make out the writing for.

• Talk up the two top scorers and remind him they're a lot less creepy.

• Don't have to worry about promising scoring talent demanding more ice time than what can be given, because they don't have any.
•  Fois. Gras. Poutine.
• The media in Montreal is way better. They just learned to stop blaming Carey Price for everything.
• Fans in Montreal know that you riot when you win.
• You only have to visit Edmonton once a year.
• Lightsaber hockey stick (It was at this point that Molson just started drawing himself swordfighting with John Labatt.)