Michel Therrien's new game strategy to include atonement, shame

Michel Therrien looks down on celebrations like these, as
it makes the other players feel bad for not scoring the goal.

If you watch a Michel Therrien interview, you'll notice he always looks pissed. He has no time for things like smiling, inflection in his voice, or generally enjoying life. It shows in his coaching strategy, as he puts forward a team first mindset, but questions are being raised when he announced that he's putting the kibosh on the famous triple low fives between PK Subban and Carey Price. Aside from the Pacioretty-Desharnais-Cole line, the triple low five after winning a game is the only constantly good thing I remember from last season. Here's two of the team's best players showing camaraderie in a relaxed, fun fashion. Fans ate it up, and it even got TV exposure from time to time. But now, Coach Buzzkill has to come along and say no, it's disrespectful. I'm sorry, what?

Apparently, this isn't the only reform that Therrien wants to introduce. He has quite the laundry list of changes he plans on implementing to sap the humanity and everything we enjoy about the team help improve team discipline and give it a more classy image. These are some of his plans:

• Take all "Get to Know Your Canadiens" videos off the team website, as the players show too much personality.
• Carey Price must wear only plain white masks, because wearing various designs is prideful, and pride is a sin.
• Self flagellation is to be introduced as a weekly team building exercise.
• The Bell Centre will no longer announce the three stars of the game, as individual contributions are disgraceful to the fans.
• The locker room motto, "to you from failing hands we throw the torch be yours to hold it high" will now become, "THE TALLEST BLADE OF GRASS IS THE FIRST TO BE CUT BY THE LAWNMOWER."

Frankly, stuff like this is avoiding the real issues with the team. Stopping triple low fives won't do anything if the penalty kill gets scored on from three different Brandon Prust penalties; meanwhile, Ryan White is in a corner of the ice eating the contents of Ben Lovejoy's stomach. Hockey punch players aren't exactly known for their low PIMs. Get mad at those guys before you tell people like PK that he can't have fun on the ice. It doesn't help that you took all the incentive out of his paycheque.