RIP Scott Gomez, eaten by Sharks

When the NHL introduced amnesty buyouts to help teams adjust to the new salary cap, it was a foregone conclusion that Scott Gomez would not be wearing a Habs uniform for much longer. But when he was told that he's getting paid to stay home, that was a bigger way to say screw you than ditching him in the minors. Even the league, which usually gives zero damns about these things, thought the move was harsh. They even said they'd push the buyouts ahead to this season he could at least play somewhere else.

Against possibly better judgement, Gomez will play indeed, as a Shark. His numbers should look more impressive without being paid $Texas; the extra cap space can be used to sign Subban (hint hint Bergevin!), and I have to come up with a new name. Wait, that last one's not good at all! So to commemorate this event, let us look back at Scott Gomez, the Canadien, in a completely libelous manner.

Scott Carlos Gomez came to Montreal during the 2009 off-season in a trade with defensive prospect Ryan McDonagh going the other way. The trade was widely regarded as a brilliant show in farcical humour, with a hint of sociopathy. General Manager Pierre Gauthier could not be reached for comment at the time, because he was busy sacrificing virgins for his elder god.

Gomez brought an array of offensive moves with him; although, the only ones we saw were, "skate past everyone with the puck and get caught in the corners", and "skate past everyone with the puck and shoot it into the goalie's chest." When asked when the rest of his tricks were coming, Gomez merely replied back with, "Soon...ish?"

When Montreal barely squeaked into the playoffs that year, Scotty was part of a deep run that made it into the Eastern Conference Finals, contributing 14 points in 19 games. Gomez was heralded as one of the main forces behind the success, second only to Jaroslav Halak, Mike Cammalleri, Hal Gill, Brian Gionta, Maxim Lapierre, Jaroslav Spacek, Kirk Muller, Andrei Markov from the press box, and Youppi.

Going into next season, Gomez carried on as usual until February. His offensive production hit a roadblock, and couldn't score a goal. But he was preparing, and after a year without scoring anything, came out of nowhere and scored a $7 million goal against the New York... Islanders. Regardless, it showed that you can persevere over anything, no matter how much money you make.

Fast forward to today, since nothing else notable happened, and Scott Gomez has a Calder trophy, two Stanley Cups, and an All Star appearance to his name; none of which happened during his tenure with the Montreal Canadiens. When he settles in San Jose, it's rumoured that he's starting a support group with JaMarcus Russell for pro athletes that fell deathly short of expectations. So here's to you Scott. You did what any of us would have: take a huge ass paycheque, and now no one will let you forget it.