Dear fans, you haven't lost jack in this lockout.

This is what I'm talking about. Quit it.

I would like to watch hockey again. I want to bicker with my friends whether Alex Galchenyuk is NHL ready as a rookie or not. However, it's getting more obvious that it's not happening this year. There will be no hockey past November, and the Winter Classic is next on the chopping block. The lack of a season however, doesn't faze me, and it shouldn't. There's plenty of things to fill my life with non-hockey related. Which brings me to what I want to say to a lot of you in a similar situation as me. To all of you saying that players are a bunch of greedy millionaires, that the fans are the real losers in this lockout, that this lockout is a strike, shut the hell up.

The whole bunch of you railing at the players for not taking whatever terrible offer the Board of Governors throws at them would be doing the same if you were in their shoes. How many of you would honestly say to your boss, "Good job on making the company worth more. Please take more of my money as a reward?"And before you start going into how you only make five figures and they won't miss the money being so rich, here's another reason why your argument is dumb: not every contract in professional hockey makes Crosby money. For a lot of these players, they only have a three to five year window to make as much money as they possibly can. You're quite familiar with the best case scenario, so I won't reiterate it. However, for every all star, there are 50-100 players, after their window for major earnings passes, are stuck making $50,000 a year in the AHL, or $500 a week in the ECHL. It's almost as if they're working stiffs or something!

With that in mind, look back on all the times in the last few months you said, "It's the fans that lose the most out of this." You're not losing income or livelihood over this, so what's the real cost? All you've lost is three hours of entertainment on Friday and Saturday nights. That's the same as one and a half movies on Netflix. It's not hard to kill that much time. You could...

• Read a book
• Learn a language
• Learn to skate
• Spend time with your family
• Start a creative project
• Move the bodies out of your baseme...forget I said that.

In fact, if you regularly go to games, think of the money you're saving from tickets. You could pay your debts faster, or take someone out for a nice meal.

Last, but not least, a lockout is not a strike. Pay attention, because I'm only doing this once.

strike/strīk/

Noun:

A refusal to work organized by a body of employees as a form of protest, typically in an attempt to gain a concession or concessions...: "local workers went on strike"

lock·out/ˈläkˌout/

Noun:

The exclusion of employees by their employer from their place of work until certain terms are agreed to. There hasn't been a players' strike in pro sports since 1994. Quit calling it that!

A desperate fan's plea to the NHLPA

Hi there, players. GFH here. We don't talk much, but I just wanted to say hi, and I heard that the league is starting to compromise. I heard about the 50/50 split, the contract cap, and everything, but I think you should stop asking questions and sign the agreement. Please.

I know that Bettman looks like he's trying to give you a raw deal, but he's a nice guy, seriously! Please, stop laughing; I mean it. Okay, I admit that he steals money from me all the time, but every once in a while, he buys me something nice, and says he sorry. I honestly believe that he'll come through this time when he says that he'll never do this again. Especially after he gave me a black eye when I told him I thought the Guardian Project was a little dumb.

Gary is just so happy with the league's progress. He said he was going buy me two new teams soon! Last weekp I asked him about when I could expect to go pick them up, and he threw a highball glass at me screaming, "I only made $7 million this year! I'm not made of money!" I'm sure he was just stressed. He doesn't do it all the time, just when he's mad!

Despite the promises of good things later, he's been in a mood lately. All this lockout stress isn't very good for him. It makes his blood pressure go up, just like all the other times he doesn't get what he wants; like Sidney Crosby getting eliminated in the playoffs, getting booed at the Stanley Cup presentation, or getting barred from setting up a team in Mexico City for the fourth time. I tried to cheer him up by giving him a cute pet name, "Goblin Looking Napoleon Punkass", but then he thought it would be funny to threaten that he was moving the Oilers to Houston. It's this funny little game we play, you see.

I know he means well. It's only the third time that Gary's done something like this, and he already started calling me the best fan in the world! Thanks to that, I'm sure I'll be ready to go through all this again at least once or twice more. I mean, that's how it works right? I don't go blaming him for locking me outside in the cold every chance he gets. It's just what he does. You understand that too, right?

Consider taking the offer. It'll make me happy, and more importantly, it'll make Gary happy. Then we can all continue on like nothing's wrong...oh no! I just heard the front door open! He'll go ballistic if he sees you here! Head out the back door- oh no I hear him getting his belt...