Cognitive Dissonance and You: How to rationalize a series with two disliked teams

The good news: Toronto lost in a fashion that would have made Manchester City fans blush. The bad news: it was to Boston. When this series started, I had it figured that no matter who loses this series, I win. I wasn't so sure after I remembered that a winner had to come out of it. I wouldn't have denied that I felt short changed if Boston blew yet another series lead, and the Leafs had taken the role of lovable misfits away from the Islanders. One way or the other, people I didn't like were happy last night.

You can stop calling me bitter now.

For a series like this, there needs to be a consequence that directly involves you. Some measures involve more risk than others, but the payoff is a heavier investment and less doubt in your mind on what side to take. Here's a few suggestions in ascending order of severity.

National Pride

A quick and easy solution is to go the way of blind nationalismpatriotism. Are you Canadian? Congratulations! You have up to seven favourite teams depending on who makes the playoffs! But don't worry Americans, you get all the rest! The best part of this solution is that it's a great way to hedge your bets, and get a favourable outcome. The downside is that it's stupid and I hate you.

Potential Conference Final Matchups

Some playoff series are just more entertaining than others. Something like Penguins/Flyers is always going to better than the Minnesota Wild vs. anyone. It becomes ten times better if it's the third round. However, due to the nature of statistics, probability, and playoff seeding, you will never get your desired finals matchup. Ever.

Tattoo Bet

Someone I know actually has one of these going. If Toronto wins the Stanley Cup before Montreal does, he has to get a Leafs tattoo. This is a bonafide way to ensure you never cheer for a team again. If you're a Flames fan, call up an Edmonton or Vancouver buddy, and get set up. Having to pay money for such a shameful mark on yourself might not be something you want to do, but there's no way they'll ever win it ahahahaha right? Right?!

Suicide Pact

Why are you doing this? Seek a psychiatrist!